Brain Cancer

[lennyswife]

Hi Everyone, The road i am on started August 2006 -Hubby has lung cancer and more recently, has brain cancer Doctors dont give him long to live.Wont say just when, but said two -four months and we have already passed a month. 24-7 that is what i am dealing with. From trying to get him to eat, bathing, cleaning sheets, giving him his meds., shopping, doing the bills, making his S.S. check last,jumping up during the night for his pain medicine and/or breathing treatments, cleaning the house. Oh my God -- well, i just made plans for respite care (for me). But, i wonder if others have gone thur or are going thur the same mess as me?? 4 hours a week break will allow my to get my brain back -I hope (LOL) Please let me know if anyone has more ideas to beat this burn-out -- Hubby needs me whole - thank you ahead of time for any help ANYONE can give me. lennyswife ( nancy)

[UroDoc]

I can't give you any help but I can give you may admiration and respect. You are really living the "for better or worse". Good luck,it sounds like you are in the last mile of the marathon.

[lennyswife]

all I can say is -THANK YOU for the kind words - belive it or not, it helped.

[rebeldaze]

You are under a great deal of stress. Most caregivers are. If you have family or friends that can stay with your husband even for a short break. Talk a walk, get some fresh air, spend some time in a bath or whirlpool, something you can do for yourself to give yourself a breather. You have to take some time for yourself that allows you to get out and sorry to say, but away from the constant care you are providing. Even when I have some breaks, it is hard to think about myself. But it is something everyone needs. Good luck and take care of both of you as much as you can.

[lennyswife]

Thank you for taking the time to post a reply. A sitter came to the house, twice this week. Plus, one of my daughters stayed with hubby today for a couple of hours. I am seeing a mark change in myself. More calm, able to help hubby without being all stressed inside. The ideas are great that you posted and i will be doing alot of walking- as long as someone is here. Hubby is so weak now, he cant be left alone. Thanks Again, Nancy

[lc1]

Hi Nancy, You are doing the job of at least three people. I give you a lot of credit. Take it a day at a time. Accept any help that is offered to you. Sometimes others want to help, but they don't know how. If you need an errand run or a few groceries, you might suggest that to your friends or family. I think it makes them feel good to be able to help and it also helps you. If you can get out a few times a week, take advantage of that. It took my mom, myself and by husband to care for my father who had brain cancer. He also could not be left alone. I would walk 2-3 times a week with a friend. It helped me vent and I got some exercise too. Hang in there! LC

[lennyswife]

LC -- and you made it thur it ?? right?? thanks -Im doing the job of 3 people ??? -- Boy, now I AM tired -- LOL This is a great service that someone thought of - but wish we had our own chat room -- wouldnt that be sweet??? To chat with live ppl. in real time -- oh well. Maybe someone smarter then myself could make this happen. Thanks again LC xoxoxoxxo

[lc1]

Nancy - Yes we all made it through (but it was the most difficult things I have ever dealt with). Not only is caregiving for a loved one physically draining, it is also emotionally draining. Do you have any outside nursing agencies working with you? My Dad was actually sent home from the hospital on hospice. The nurse came 2x's a week and the aide came 6 days a week. The aide bathed him everyday and the nurse just kept a check on vitals and made sure we had enough meds. We still had to administer the meds daily. A family member was always there when they came. My mom was very fussy about who was allowed to sit with Dad, as I'm sure you know the feeling. I wish we could have a live chat also. LC

[lennyswife]

LC, yes, hubby was sent home from the V.A. hospital (LA) with hospice care. The R.N. comes x2 a week to check vitals, And check on med. supply. I now have a sitter coming to the house x2 a week, 2hrs. each time. It has helped alot. Children are now pitching in more. I think the time is close for hubby to pass. Just tonight, he thought he heard someone knocking on the door, in fact, he yelled " Yeah, what do you want?" -- He is so weak now, not wanting to eat or drink much. But, I still fix him something and take it to him. If he eat or not, his body tells him what to do. The body goes thru so much during the dying process. I wish I could fix it but only God can do that. We are so happy that hubby has found peace with God. Hope to chat soon --- God Bless --- Nancy

[lc1]

Hi Nancy
How are you? I've been thinking about you and praying for you. Yes, its wonderful that your husband has found peace with God and I pray that you have also. It sounds like you have. Keep up all the good work. I'm glad your children are pitching in to help. I will always cherish the last months I had with my Dad and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. And even though it was difficult, as he was in my home, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. God blessed me with the chance to take care of him. Keep on keeping on...LC