Dementia

[tvillers]

I have officially had the worst weekend of my life and I'm just looking for some answers!

My Gramma is 85 and has always been a little loopy. The last couple months she's gotten a little more so but nothing really strange or too out there, but last week she had a fall and banged up her face pretty badly. After that my step-mother told me that she's been a little confused and pretty unstable on her feet.

She lives with my Dad and Step-mom and I go and stay with her if they ever go away. This weekend they went away and I went to stay with her but when I got there the house was covered in blood and she wasn't there. Apparently my Aunt showed up for a visit and found her with a badly cut arm trying to clean the blood and took her to the hospital for stitches. She was really confused that night my aunt said but when I woke up at 6am on Saturday morning to find that she had ripped off her bandages and some of her stiches and was again bleeding all over the place she didn't seem to even understand why she was bleeding. During the day several times she became angry and often told us it was getting late and she needed to go home. She didn't sleep at all until 2am that night and repeated herself constantly and didn't seem to understand what was going on and who we were. By Sunday morning she obviously didn't know who we were at all and really didn't even seem to understand when we were talking. Only said "that's nice" to just about everything. It was heartbreaking to see, but I don't know what's wrong? My step-mom is taking her to the doctor and staying home with her but can dementia be caused from her falls? Or is it more likely to be brain damage?

Right now I'm devastated and traumatized...I love my Gramma very much and although I know aging can sometimes be difficult I just want to be able to do everything I can for her! Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks!

[dwoodie]

Have they checked for blocked caratid arteries in her neck? My mother in law had similar symptoms 2 years ago, stumbling & loosing her balance & a little confused at times & just generally seeming a little off. After taking her to the doctor several times, I finally took her again & sat down with the doctor & said Okay, something is still wrong & what can we do? In his office that day, for the first time ever, he listened to her arteries. Something simple that should have been the first thing he did at each check up (every 3 months for years!!) He immediately ordered tests, scheduled a consult with the surgeon 2 days later & in less than a week, she had surgery. She only had 10% blood flow to the brain!!!! She was a matter of days, weeks or no more than 2 months from having a massive stroke that would have either killed her or left her totally incapacitated.
Unfortunately, it is HARD to handle any form of personality change in someone we love. It really does sound like your grandmother has some form of dementia. I guess the first fall could have caused it, maybe a blood clot or something on the brain? A friend of mine had an anuerism (spelling??) that caused a similar problem. What about her medication? could she be taking something that is reacting on her or is she taking her medication correctly???? Or it could be that she fell because of her confusion. I am finding out that there are so many different things in the elderly that can cause this type of behavior. I will certainly keep you all in my prayers.
As for my mother in law, she did great through her surgery & in the following months we could see a vast improvement in her memory & behavior. Unfortunately, in the last 6 months she has done a complete turn around. We just aren't sure if this is something that is caused by her previous problem but there is physically nothing wrong with her. But mentally, I am about ready to pull my hair out!!! She is almost 77 & still lives alone (my brother in law is next door). She picks one thing to dwell on & that is ALL she thinks of. Back in the winter she found a shingle in her yard (not from her house) & was crying & convinced that every time it rained, her roof would come off & she would lose everything she had.
Now, her air conditioner is torn up. not really but she doesn't believe the air cond repairman or any of us. she turns the thermostat up to 83 & then is upset when the air don't come on. Then she turns it way down to 70 & gets scared when it runs too long & won't cut off. She has called me at work crying multiple times & also at home crying & I have gone & set it & shown her that it is okay but as soon as you leave she moves it again!!! She has ordered a thermostat replacement, canceled it, ordered it, canceled it & now has ordered it again. She is CONVINCED that none of us believe her & she KNOWS what she is talking about. I have tried to be calm & patient but she has now lately been getting pretty hateful with me. I am the ONLY daughter in law, there is just my husband & his brother (divorced), she has no brothers & sisters & all of the grandkids are either out of town or out of state. So basically, it is up to me. We have always had a wonderful relationship. This is just tearing me up inside because I don't know how to talk to her or how to handle this without me having a heart attack or stroke!! I have been so upset this week that I have physically had chest pains!! Not good.
The funny thing about all this is that after she finally replaces her thermostat, she will be fine for a while before we go through this again.
I took her to her doctor a couple months ago & he basically asked her a couple of questions & had her count backwards & pronounced her Alzheimer's FREE!!! Yeah right!!
as a matter of fact, she called me while I was typing just now, crying again & telling me she loves me & she don't want to fuss. I told her not to worry about it. This is what the next 10 years of my life is going to be like!!!! How do I handle it? Where do I learn the ability to do the best I can & quit worrying & getting upset? Mentally I know that there is nothing I can do about this but how do I keep it from affecting me physically???

[tvillers]

Thank you for your insight and sharing...it helps to hear that you're not dealing with these situations alone.
I'm not sure what they have tested now. We have got her in a home because she can no longer be alone without hurting herself but since placing her there she has totally gone off the deepend. She doesn't know who she is, who her daughters are, she's violent and angry and lashes out at anyone who tries to touch her, screaming that they are hurting her. She has no idea what's going on or where she is or what year it is...my father has asked me to not go and see her right now...he's hoping that they will be able to figure out what is wrong and get her on some kind of medication to level her out but I fear that it won't change and I will not be able to visit her without confusing her and sending her into a rage.
My Gramma is 85, and six months ago no one believed me when I said it...they thought she was in her late sixty's...now she's frail and has aged 20 years. I fear that she probably won't be around long, but at the same time know she would rather go peacefully then live on how she is now...even if she isn't aware of it.
I wish I could offer some advice about your mother in law. My Gramma has been like that for the last year or so too...maybe that was early signs we didn't think much of as it was not to the extent your mother in law is. But similarly, she would lose it over the most minor thing and not believe you when you tried to fix it for her. Or even just things on TV...we were once watching some sort of morning show and they brought out these rare breed of hairless cats...don't get me wrong they were hidious...but she just flew off the handle. It was like someone had actually given her one as a gift and she was up in arms about how inappropriate it was...I've never seen anyone get so upset and flustered about something like that!
Doors being locked, information about where you will be and when, how to work this or that in the house...all things she would go crazy over! And she became obsessed with picking little (namely non-existant) bits of lint off the floor...if she thought she was going to be late for church she would throw a fit. I guess all things that similarly should have tipped us off that something was wrong; but although I love her to death, my Gramma has always been a little loopy, even when my step-mom was a kid so we just figured that that was Gramma. Now I wish we hadn't!
I would get a second opinion on the alzheimers thing...that doesn't sound right. Although maybe it is possible her previous condition may have affected her brain I wouldn't just settle for what one doctor says. Go to a specialist and try to get some real answers...I would hate to have happen to anyone else what happened to me and find out that there is a larger problem by finding her unconscious or having her wander off and go missing!
Hang in there! I know it is not easy. As I have been discovering lately, watching someone age is very difficult and although it is supposed to be "normal" it feels nothing but! You sound like you care about her very much and even if her situation should stay the same, she will know that and appreciate that you take the time to care for her!

[dwoodie]

I'm so sorry that your Grandma had to be placed in a home. That has to be the hardest thing ever to do. I hope they can figure out what is going on & get her on the right meds. I know there are medications out there that can help but it depends on the level of dementia.
That is why I took my mother in law to the doctor in May. I did look up the 10 classic signs of Alzheimer's on this website & she has them all so I just don't know. I may be taking her back to the doctor again soon. She is so convinced (most of the time) that she is perfectly fine & then others she is totally dependent.
They did replace her thermostat yesterday & I went over & talked to the repairmen with her. Figured out what she was doing. She always turned her furnace down during the night so it wouldn't run as much & her house was a little cooler. Well, she was doing the air the same way & couldn't figure out why it was getting colder!!! She was so determined & argumentative that she KNEW how to operate that & had done it the same for 40 years!!! MAYBE, we have her calm over it. not sure how long it will last but she was okay last night.
Yeah, it is good to know there are others going through the same thing but I really do hate for ANYONE to go through this with someone they love.
Good luck & keep in touch.